Two people leaping in joy

When seeking a marriage partner, be the person you are looking for. If you’re looking for someone polite and kind, then be polite and kind. If you want someone athletic and slim who loves the outdoors, then be athletic and slim and spend time outdoors. If you want someone emotionally balanced, unselfish, and trustworthy, then embody those character traits in your own life.

If you want someone who is totally honest, then be totally honest!

Don’t imagine that you can be dishonest, selfish, and out of shape, and yet attract someone who is honest, generous and fit. It doesn’t work that way.

Also please understand, I’m not saying that you should activate all these qualities in your life just so that you can attract a partner. No, I’m saying do it for God and for yourself. Be healthy, generous, and kind to people. Do it for yourself, so that you can grow as a human being. Be active in your worship, be humble, and be sincere. Do it for your own soul, and your own happiness.

If you do this, then you will find that good people are automatically attracted to you. Like attracts like. If you are happy, centered and sweet, you will attract someone who is the same. Of course you might also attract a lying, cheating bozo, but you’ll be able to see through that and kick that person to the curb.

Look, you don’t have to be perfect. Out of all the qualities I’ve mentioned, the most important are honesty and sincerity. It’s okay if you’ve got flaws. I can make my daughter a peanut butter sandwich or scrambled eggs, and I can open a tin, but beyond that I couldn’t cook my way out of a cardboard box. I weigh a little more than I should (my knees remind me of it every day), and I’m not the least bit handy with mechanical things and home improvements. Some of these things I’m working on, and some I’m not too concerned about, but I’m always struggling to improve myself in many ways. The thing is, I’m sincere. I don’t pretend to be something I’m not, and if I find that my words don’t match my actions, then I try to reform my actions.

Be sincere. Be honest. Live the life that you aspire to. Be the ideal person that you see in your mind. Eventually you will find yourself attracting people with similar values.

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How NOT To Respond to a Matrimonial Ad

wael on January 23rd, 2009

As-salamu alaykum brothers and sisters. I’ve noticed that some of the Muslim men in particular write very strange responses to the matrimonial profiles in which they are interested. This has come to my attention because the Muslim sisters sometimes flag the messages, considering them to be inappropriate. Other times men say these things in their […]

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Wael’s Five Pillars of Islamic Marriage

wael on October 5th, 2008

These are my five pillars of a successful marriage, applicable to Muslim marriage or any marriage at all.

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